Jay Clark interviews Jay Clark

So what's been going on with you lately, Jay Clark?

Oh, you know how it is, Jay Clark. Just procrastinating a lot on my revision and hating you for it.

That sounds super healthy.

Yeah, it's really great.

Speaking of downers, what's up with your sickly Amazon rank?

I promised myself I wouldn't talk about or link to my Amazon rank during this interview ... but let me just say that Amazon hasn't heard the last from me or my future readers. Just when they think Edumacation is down for the count, it comes back and hits the 70(k) range again and they can't help but take notice and fiddle with the price just to F with me. Good thing I'm watching them all with the eeeeeeye ... of a handicapped tiger.

Perhaps your time would be better spent doing something, anything else.

As you know, my shoulder kind of hurts these days, so I'm often thinking about that. And I kind of have to go to the bathroom right, but I'm in that weird, purgatory-like place where I'm not sure what will happen when/if I do. Stay tuned for scenes of my next episode.

You certainly like to keep us on the edge of our (toilet) seats.

My bowel movements are a suspense-driven event in their own right. I'm just along for the ride, really. And so are you, b-hole.

Subject change! Seen any good movies lately? 

In the theater, no. I'm not really into activities that require me to leave the house. Last night, after I refused to rent a horror movie--this is about the only thing I can ever refuse Caroline, by the way, because I'm really tough--we watched Bridesmaids for the first time since seeing it in the theaters. My favorite parts: the Xanax/Valium-fueled plane meltdown, the puppies in the van, the showdown with the teen girl that resulted in a C-bomb, "You're an ugly cryer," and wrestling with the giant cookie.

Thanks for giving us all that extra information (said through gritted teeth).  Isn't it true you're a pushover and let Caroline watch Forensic Files afterward?

Yes, but I wasn't paying attention. For the record, she learned her own lesson when they started talking about this guy who hid in this girl's closet and ... that's when I seized the remote and found an episode of Parks & Recreation on the DVR.

Ron Swanson.

Treat yo'self!

Thanks for taking the time to interview yourself today, Jay. 

Oh, that's all the time that we have?